The jade under his arm

The king of Qin offered fifteen cities for the jade disk of the state of Zhao. Zhao didn't want to lose the jade and didn't want to enrage Qin.

Lin Xiangru was sent to Qin with the jade. The king of Qin admired it by his throne, passed it among the ladies of the palace, and mentioned nothing about fifteen cities.

Lin Xiangru told him the jade had a flaw and asked to point it out. When the king handed it back, Lin held it up against a pillar and said: you have had this jade for a meal with no word about the cities. If you press me for it, my head and the jade break together.

Everybody froze. Then he negotiated further, insisted on fasting and ceremony, and slipped the jade out with an escort before the promised court appearance.

Zhao never accepted a single city. The outcome is famous. Less quoted is the accounting: Zhao had accepted it might lose the jade, might lose its envoy, and decided the right thing to try anyway.

Most people I meet aren't stuck for ideas. They're stuck because they want each option to be safe, and the negotiation of a life doesn't work that way.

Before the next hard conversation, write which outcome you're willing to accept. Not the best one. The one you can live with if you lose.

MOJOWAY's intake asks exactly that. Coaching grows where the client has already named what they can afford to lose.