The mat that got cut in half

The friend you deleted might have been the clearest person in that relationship.

Every time you see him you need two days to recover. You know it should end. Then you think, eight years, and you give it another six months, and the six months cost you more than the eight years did.

Guan Ning and Hua Xin were students who shared a vegetable plot and a reading mat. One day they were hoeing and turned up a piece of gold. Guan Ning kept swinging the hoe as if it were a stone. Hua Xin picked it up, looked at it, and put it down.

Later they were reading side by side when a carriage went past the gate. Guan Ning kept reading. Hua Xin put his book down and went out to watch.

When he came back, Guan Ning had taken a knife and cut the mat in two. You are not my friend, he said.

Every retelling makes him out to be the cold one. What I notice is smaller. He didn't shout and he didn't explain. He drew a line exactly where he lived, and he drew it early.

Boundaries aren't only for leaving people. They also tell the other person where you stand, which is a kindness people rarely thank you for.

MOJOWAY is where I practise drawing those lines out loud. Growth includes the line you draw around your own time, not just the ones you set with other people.