Six friends tried to help her

Six friends took turns helping her through a breakup. She deleted all six.

Later she told me: every one of them was teaching me how to get over it. Nobody asked where I was.

The state of Lu had a law. Anyone who bought a Lu citizen out of slavery in another state could collect a reward from the treasury. One day Zigong, who was rich, bought some people back and declined the money. Everyone praised him.

Confucius told him he'd done wrong. If you refuse the reward, he said, who will feel comfortable claiming it after you? You've made generosity expensive.

Then there was Zilu, who pulled a drowning man out of a river. The man gave him an ox in thanks, and Zilu took it. Confucius was pleased. This will encourage people to save lives.

Look at what Confucius was grading. Not the character of the two men. Whether the act could be repeated by an ordinary person on an ordinary Tuesday.

Morality that only works for saints isn't morality. It's a standard that quietly tells everyone else they've failed.

Next time someone tells you they're drowning, don't hand them a method. Ask what they want you to do right now, and then do that thing.

MOJOWAY is for the moment after the advice runs out. Growth starts where somebody feels accompanied instead of instructed.